Be the Change you wish to see in the world ~~~Gandhi
These words always struck me to the core. I never once thought twice about speaking up for what I thought was right. This hasn’t always produced the results I had hoped for, but I staying silent just isn’t my style.
I grew up in household filled with pain. I felt I never measured up in my families eyes. I was fat, plain and bossy.
We didn’t have a lot of money as I went into my teens and my dad was drinking a lot. My mother was too busy trying to keep us a float to notice me or my needs and my sister acted out and caused us nothing but chaos and physical pain. I wanted to die. To end it all. I often shouted at my father how I wished he would die and all our problems would end.
He did die. My senior year in high school, he took his life. He was my best friend and mentor and yet he caused me no end of emotional pain when he drank. He chose to give up.
He taught me to look for the good in the world, stand up for what I believed in, and find a way to make things better. He was in terrible physical and emotional pain so he self medicated to try and make it better. It didn’t work. It just made things worse. A year or so before he died he asked me if I believed in Jesus and so began my first opportunity to teach what I believed and I haven’t stopped since then. I tried to teach him and bring him comfort, but ultimately the choice to be happy or give up was his. I could only teach, he had to find the strength, he had to believe he could do it.
There have been times in my life where I gave up too, but life never gave up on me. I didn’t realize until recently that I have been trying to save the world, one person at a time. I was born to teach and I strive to do that every day.
If I can reach just one person to help them find the strength live in this world, then it will have been worth it. No, that isn’t right. I did make a change in one person’s life….mine.
I made a decision when I was at my lowest point. I chose not to be “MY OWN VICTIM”. I can’t make anyone be nice to me. I can’t change the weather. There were times when I couldn’t change where I lived or who I lived with. I could only change how I lived, treated others, and myself. I chose to live. I choose to be a light and an example to the world. I chose to love myself as I am with all my faults and all my gifts.
If I don’t love myself….who else will? I made a change…and I made a choice. I have to work to choose it every single day. AA tell us “One Day at a Time” but I say it is really “One Moment at at Time”.
I choose to be happy! I choose to be happy in as many of those moments as I can.
So I find ways throughout the day everywhere I go, in what I read, talk about and the music I listen to..to be happy.
I have found that we pick music to put us in a mood or reflect the mood we want to have. Lets start our Monday off with some happy music and spread the joy!
Be happy ya’ll.by