Category Archives: Reaching For Your Dreams


Hawk in flight


February 26, 2016

Today the most amazing thing happened to me.

I have to preface this by explaining how a old and dear friend challenged me and several others to a 7 day nature photo shoot. Each day, we are to go out into nature and take some pictures to share on Facebook. I jumped at the chance to be a part of this, as it is my favorite thing to do anyways. In point of fact a few weeks ago my grandson and I were on our driveway when a Red Tailed Hawk circled up above our heads with the sun illuminating each wing. It was breath taking and I raced to get my camera.


The hawk had circled on a thermal and was just a tiny speck in the sky, by the time I got back outside. There was no way to capture the beauty of the hawk, not even with my zoom lens. I said a prayer asking if the hawk could please come back, so that I could take a picture of it. I waited, but that was just not going to happen.


My grandson and I decided to go for a walk on a new walking path our city had developed. It runs along a creek and into some woods so I thought we would see some interesting things. We did. Yep, you guessed, it, there was a hawk. He even flew down close to us and landed on a tree, but for some reason, my camera refused to take a picture. Why you ask? I have NO idea. It was just not meant to be. I was disappointed but repeated the prayer of my desire to capture the beauty of a hawk.


Several days later we come to the end of the challenge. I have enjoyed it so much, but the weather has made most of my pictures about puddles, raindrops, and the return of the sun. That all changed today.

I was doing my math homework. In fact, I was in the middle of a quiz when I heard the call of the hawk. It sounded like it was right outside my door and my heart sped up. Here was my chance! However, I had to get my work done and be steadfast. This grade was important to my education, so I remained inside at my computer.


The hawk called to its mate again and received an answer and I swear they were right out side my window. I repeated my prayer and trusted that if the Lord wished to allow me the joy of such a photo, the hawk would be there and I continued on with my work, at peace with my faith that the Lord would bring the hawk to me at some point and time in my life . It was a calm and comforting place to be and I found joy in it.

We move ahead to the completion of my homework and test. I grab my camera and see the battery I had been charging is still on the charger. I know my camera will not work without it and I walk out the door to find some nature to photograph for my challenge.


I have about a half acre of wooded land next to my home and I walk out into it and search for that perfect photo. As I pause to watch the antics of my Labrador I hear the call of the hawk. I turn and right above my head I see the hawk. She is not 30 feet from me, just sitting on a branch watching me. I cannot begin to tell you how my heart raced with excitement. This is it, I thought. The Lord has brought the hawk right to me and answered my prayer. I raise my camera to take the close up, and nothing happens. I mean nothing.

The hawk is still on the branch thinking I am just some crazy human, and my camera is dead. I had forgotten to get the battery and put it in the camera. How did that happen you ask? Beats me. I looked at it, I thought about it and I completely spaced acting upon in. I began to cry.


I cried because the realization that I had asked the Lord in a humble and heartfelt prayer for something, but when He was ready to grant my wishes, I WAS NOT READY TO RECEIVE IT. He had done everything I had asked for and more. It was a bright and beautiful sunny day; the hawk was on my property and sitting and waiting for me to see her, I had my camera, but I was not ready. It was a very humbling moment as the true significance hit me.


For the past few days as I read and reread and studied 3 Nephi Chapters 12-17 the Lord spoke of being ready, of coming unto him and for us to Ask, Seek and Find. I was pondering that all week and especially as I walked in the woods that the extent of my seeking goes deep and that I am fully involved in the details of seeking. It is in the details that we find the simple thing that powers our change, enlightenment or progress. It was a powerful moment for me.


I went to the house with tears in my eyes, got the battery and went back outside to finish my challenge and I heard the hawk again. It was not usually so close to the house. I looked up and there she was, circling above me, with the light shining through her wings. Her mate was with her and they spent some time in my front yard and I was humbled again. Their beauty, the beauty of the day and then my grandson and daughter came home and we watched it together. My heart was full. My love for the Lord increased and my understanding of His love for me enveloped my soul. It was an amazing day.


From this day forward, whenever I see a hawk, it will be a symbol of answered prayers and to be ready for them to make my heart soar.







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Preparing to be A Disciple of Jesus Christ

Light in a stormThis week in class I learned that I am preparing to become a better disciple of Jesus Christ.

Webster’s Dictionary defines to prepare as follows:

Prepare. Transitive verb -a: to make ready beforehand for some       purpose, use or activity. b: to put in a proper state of mind

 To prepare is to get ready. It does not mean that you are ready. It means that you know are going to be part of something soon. It means that you want to do well so you learn as much about it as you can and have all the tools you need.

To be a good disciple is to be a good leader. Continue reading Preparing to be A Disciple of Jesus Christ

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A New Journey Begins Today

IMG_4961So this is it.

Here I go.

Today, I begin a new journey.  To mold and shape a new and hopefully better me.  No, that isn’t right.  A more secure me…yes.  That’s it.  I want to be secure in where I am going and have the tools to make my dreams happen.

I want to help people.  I always have.  It was something my mother never understood and often referred to as “weird”.

I am weird.  OK?  I am who I am.  I may not be like you.  I may not be what you think I should be, but I am who God made me.  I work hard every day not to let the world and the people in it, make me think less of myself and what I have done in my life.  It isn’t always easy!

Every choice I have ever made, has molded me into who I am today.  I don’t regret my choices.  I have made some that may not have taken me on the easiest road, but the choices were important to me at the time and I am glad for the trials and joy they brought!

Continue reading A New Journey Begins Today

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Are You Ok


Para normal, such an interesting name for something that is normal for many of us. We all have a moment where we see something out of the corner of our eyes, only to turn and nothing is there. A feeling that we are not alone, yet there is not another living, breathing thing in the room. It is our fear, plain and simple that keeps us from going deeper, opening up our minds and our hearts to what is just beyond the veil.

We close ourselves off and keep the amazing from being revealed and I think that is why we most often experience the most amazing dreams. We expect our dreams to be unusual, filled with nonsense, and distorted. We let our dreams take us where they may and open ourselves up to possibilities. I believe that is when we have moments of great insight and visit our friends and loved ones from the other side. I have had many such dreams.

I find that most of my dreams are just jumbled and random crazy events. A collage of movie clips where I am often one of the players. They are mostly nonsense.

There are times though, where it is a major motion picture. The colors are vivid, the emotions are strong and it seems like it has gone on for hours, yet when I wake, it may have only been for a moment. The experience so real, that I have even found myself mourning its ending for days, weeks, and sometimes years.

I had a dream once that I still wish I could dream again.

My father was only 59 when he died. He had a bad heart. He had a old soul. He loved to interact with people. He appreciated an old movie, a good story, and a strong drink. He was my hero. He took his own life to end his pain.
There were many people that felt that was sin. They told me this often. Like I could change what had happened. I had known it was coming. I could see it in his eyes. I could hear it in his voice. He was in too much pain to stay. I didn’t believe that a loving God would punish someone in so much pain. I still don’t. That is an argument for another day. I believe that I was even prepared by some unseen force for his departure.
I awoke on the morning he died with a full knowledge that he was gone, where it had happened and what I needed to do and I did it.
It was weeks later and the family had all home. I went back to school. My mother went back to work and my sister and I began to start living without our parent. It was hard without my dad, but we were moving on.
One night I fell into a deep sleep and found myself on a rolling green foothill next to a lake. The mountains rising to my left were tall and vibrant and their reflection in the lake so clear and true.
My sister was sitting at the edge of the lake and was skipping stones. She looked to be around the age of 8 or 9 and the sight was so familiar to me that I did not even blink when I found my father sitting next to me. I had never been to this place. It was so beautiful that I could never have forgotten it. In fact the intensity of it’s beauty is like a photograph in my mind.
I turned to see my fathers face, so handsome and alive. I drank in his smile and the light in his eyes. He looked so young, so happy and free of pain. Instantly I felt such joy to know he was ok. We talked for a while and it was as if he never left. We would often talk and watch my sister as she would skip rocks or went fishing. So familiar, yet so different.
Finally I asked him why he was there and he turned to me and said, “I came back to be sure that you and your sister were ok.”
Thirty years later I am still moved by those words. I took a moment to think about what had gone on since he had left. I looked at my sister throw another rock and the ripples it made in the water. I thought of how our lives had changed and the direction we were all going in. Were we ok I wondered?
“Yeah, dad. We are going to be fine. You don’t need to worry about us.” He gave me the most serene smile, nodded and then I woke up.
People will that it was just what I wanted to hear and say and that my mind created that dream to help ease my loss. They could be right.
I know in my heart though, that my father visited me that night. I found comfort and closer and I have never had a dream seem so real. It was if I was transported to another place and time.
I have never visited with him again. I know in my heart he is ok and he helped me to see that I was ok too.

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